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The death of Diane, 20th anniversary, who once had the most photographed and talked about all over the world, became the center of the storm again. While a number of so-called never open secret video clip - sensitive topic about Princess Diana and Prince Charles of life, the queen, Prince Philip and Charles himself with "the marriage of three individuals" attitude, more of the storm waves.
In Britain a controversy, on Sunday (August 6th), British Channel fourth (cheap replica chanel handbags UK 4), by notice for a long time the documentary "Diane, her (Diana in Her Own readme, Words)" is still scheduled to broadcast. 35 million viewers saw the most of the year's viewership.
No wonder someone evaluated Diane, she propped up a "a woman industry"". She alone gave birth to an industry chain with her as the center.
Many photographers made money when she was living. One of her old lover, her former coach James Hewitt riding out of his autobiography, "consumption" of their relationship, so she was very hurt, she later in an interview with the BBC openly admit that the relationship exists, a huge disappointment and shock admitted this behavior.
And behind her, her speech coach / voice coach (Voice Coach) Peter Settlen, the year for teaching purposes for her shot private video, sold to the United States NBC television and the British channel fourth. Is this spending Diane, or, as Settlen puts it, "telling the public a more true Diane, reshaping her image?" Different views.
Let us not discuss the behavior of Settlen, nor do they judge whether the content of private channel fourth announced that should, after watching the video content is published, I see, is a drowned man trying to swim ashore, in order to save itself, probably for the first time so really looking for myself.
September 1992 began to voice and speech training, in order to "know yourself, find the video he" recorded, for that is besieged on all sides of Diane, more like a campaign to reshape our healing journey.
01
Open yourself to a stranger
Voice coach Peter Settelen, while filming the tapes for Diane, only two of the second people actually met. So, why would Diane believe so much about a person he hardly knew, and telling such private matters was worth questioning.
In NBC on 2006, Valentine's Day broadcast "secret Diane: a previously unknown Diana Revealed: The Princess No One Knew", there is host Ann interview with Peter Settelen.
Settelen was an unknown former actor who later became a voice coach and speech training consultant. He happens to have a friend who is Diane's personal trainer, so after his friend's introduction, he meets Diane who wants to improve his speaking skills. Fit in easily with。
This kind of trust between people or similar chemistry that we like, sometimes it is difficult to explain the specific reasons.
Settelen tells Diane that no passion in your speech, and not your own, you can not use your enthusiasm to truly infect others, so, you must first know yourself, find yourself, know who you are. So there was a video shoot. At first, the topic is the periphery, but slowly more and more private, open, Diane seemed to be depressed for a long time it will fall to take this opportunity to have gush out.
A person who is good at talking and listening, opens a person who needs an audience.
Diane has always longed for such a patient listener. As she herself said, "I wish someone would hold me, just listen to me."".
Unfortunately, Charles has never been this man.
02
"My parents never said they loved me.""
"My parents never told me they loved me, nothing, they just kissed me on the cheek, and there was no hug or other physical contact between us. "
Diane's courtship, a lack of security, was largely due to her severe lack of love and the lack of a sense of security from her parents.
She made no secret of her parents' displeasure. In the video, she chose to face up to her self suffering from the trauma and lack of love.
Diane's parents divorced when she was six, and her mother ran to another man. Previously, young Diane had unwittingly witnessed the father mother slapped. After her parents divorced, she once sat down on the stairs without eating, drinking, washing or sleeping. Then, when she was 9 years old, her father sent her to a boarding school, which made her heartbroken. "If you leave me here now, it means you don't love me.". "But her father, despite her objections, chose to stay with her.
She has always had a grudge against her father. At the age of 13, his father remarried. But the news was that her sister saw it in the newspaper and called her. Four children at home to get married father suddenly in behavior are very angry, and Diane was chosen to protest and father: we do not love her!
She admitted that the angry herself even slapped her father.
Discontent and anger is a strong emotion, which obviously brings more action than inferiority, sadness and other emotions.
The character of Diane, a very sensitive, shy, low self-esteem, anxiety, anxiety, but also has the rebellious, tough, rebellious side. This is the equivalent of a drowning man's self rescue, and you have to go through the stronger self, whether or not the force comes from the resistance to repression, or what it takes to rescue the weaker self ashore.
Diane, a girl who had deliberately pushed her stepmother down the stairs because she hated her stepmother, did not speak to her father for six months.
Her father, as an educator, has been having a problem with the way he deals with conflicts and the way he teaches his children. But we can also see the dual nature of Diane's character. In this way, it is not difficult to understand Diane's self mutilation after marriage and intentionally falling down stairs during pregnancy to attract Charles's attention.
03
"They always say I'm stupid"
Another Diane knot, is always called "silly".
When I was young, she often will be the family said, "dumb" brother as "smart", which makes her a long time to feel ashamed, inferiority.
After his father was forcibly sent to boarding school, Diane often felt very lonely (feel detached). She hasn't been doing well either. Until middle school, her schoolwork was still very bad. In high school, English, literature, history, art, biology, five subjects, five tests, D. High school is not graduated, she has been a civil servant, kindergarten teacher, until she married into the Royal family.
According to Diane's private secretary said, academic, lack of knowledge and knowledge, had been brought to Diane a sense of inferiority, she has also been avoiding and dealing with intellectuals. Until the last few years of her life, but also in her acceptance speech after training, she was much more relaxed, put down this knot.
However, Diane has been a little mind, she is always trying to grow, to prove their value, but no matter how she was popular, how much do the thing worthy to be praised, she failed in her husband and the husband from home here, harvest any praise, praise. "My growth has never been recognized, I have always been seen as an 18 year old girl" and "naive, as long as the wrong thing, rush to you a ton of blame. "She said in an interview with BBC in 1995.
A man who tries hard to win self-esteem and respect by himself is always trying to prove himself. Strong side is Diane, in those years, she wore a crush, but never in contempt, contempt in themselves, but continue to seek a breakthrough and growth, the cocoon into a butterfly.
04
Charles's love is very strange"
Well, finally talking about Charles's love affair.
In fact, Charles first dated Diane's sister, Sarah. Sarah invited Charles to his home for a weekend at party, and Charles was impressed with Diane, 16. But three years later, at a party, Charles and Diane meet again, two people suddenly burst into love sparks. At that time, Charles finished the appointment earlier than sarah.
Diane recalled, when Charles's friend and his uncle Prince Louis Mountbatten had just died, Charles depression, then Diane comforted him saying: you look really lonely, you need a person to accompany you in your side. At this moment, Charles suddenly bent down to suppress her kiss. That whole night, "Charles was like a little dog around me all the time," and it made Diane happy.
But soon, Diane found that Charles, the pursuit of the way of "very special", he will call her every day in a week, then suddenly disappeared in three weeks, the way sometimes hot and sometimes cold to let Diane feel some loss, but she still chose to accept. After all, the man will be king of England in the future. And Diane admitted, in fact, she herself in the girlhood has already felt the fate: I will be very special, completely different from the others around me.
After six months, after meeting Charles for 13 times, Charles formally asked her to marry him, and Diane accepted happily. Hey, here, is not to say that one thing is really not too reliable to fully understand each other's flash marriage, marriage, is too important a thing.
In 1981 February, the engagement of two people was officially announced. After the announcement, they followed the usual media interview. A question from the ITN reporter asked, "do you love each other?" "Diane answered almost instinctively," of course"! And Charles's answer is: "it depends on how you define love.". The Diane has been described as "very strange answer" for Diane to blow, "traumatised me". "In an education I have always received, engagement with one person, of course, means love. "
In fact, the expectations and appeals of Diane and Charles have never matched this marriage.
In numerous documentaries I saw, there was a very young Charles interview, talking about the future of his wife, he said: "she needs to be very special, a woman and I got married, it would mean that she will become a princess, even the queen. She will have to shoulder a lot of responsibilities with me and face a lot of attention. "
Charles was chosen for the purpose of the princess, picked in the young beauty, at that time, in his view, lively and vibrant virgin Diane. And Diane, in addition to wanting to be the heroine of the fairy tale of the prince and princess, also wants the love of the prince.
Love, for a prince, is not the first option for him to consider marriage. He put the love and marriage separate, in a secular perspective is a very easy thing to be understood, in his view, is well deserved, but the marriage is full of hope Diane is undoubtedly a huge blow.
This is one of the root causes of the tragedy of the two marriages.
In marriage and in relationships, without understanding each other's core needs and not meeting each other's core needs, problems are bound to go wrong.
05
Six or seven years of asexual marriage before separation
With mismatched expectations, Diane, 20, married the Royal family.
She was very hungry for love and attention from her husband, but her husband's heart seemed not to be here. Three months after her marriage, she is pregnant, pregnant. Life has changed dramatically in a very short time, and young Diane lacks experience and ability to deal with it. There are no relatives to support her. She has no contact with her mother for a long time, has no relationship with her father and stepmother, and the royal family gives her more sense of authority, pressure and tension.
"I often feel lonely and isolated. Diane, who was in the palace, described the feelings at that time. For her emotional appeal, Charles always takes evasive measures to deal with. She wanted to talk to her husband, but the man who was always spoiled by women always chose to run away. "I'm going to ride a horse.". "
Her self mutilation, deliberately pregnant with falling stairs, trying to attract Charles's attention, but only in exchange for a "Diane very unstable" label, she suffered from depression in the postpartum, bulimia nervosa. In this regard, Charles's attitude is not comfort, tolerance, but: waste of food, she should be sent away from the royal palace to recuperate. "There is no more effective way to destroy a person's mind than to isolate him.". "
Within four years of marriage, Diane had two sons. According to Diane, during this time, Charles and her sexual life frequency is about once every three weeks. Then, in the first six or seven years of video recording in 1992, two people no longer had sex. That is, around 1985 or so, two people no longer intimate contact.
06
"I don't want to be the only prince without a mistress.""
Is Prince Charles later television interview that from the beginning of 1985, with the resurgence of old Camilla, after his marriage to Diane to "broken down".
In fact, Diane with the woman's intuition, already know what happened. Camilla's sister is on her 40 birthday, and party is held. Diane knows Charles and Camilla will show up and go alone. After seeing her, Charles asked, "Why are you here?"
After 1.5 hours at party, Diane found that Camilla and Charles were gone. She decided to go and see them. Close friends tried to stop her, but she insisted. Then she found the two people sitting together, and she chose to confront: "I know what happened. Don't take me for a fool."! "
But Camilla's response was: "you have the worship of men all over the world, and two such lovely children, Diane, what else do you want?"
Diane: I want my husband.
In the fall of 1992, Diane talked about the sad past, not too much sadness, more anger. In the video, she was seen holding her fist sometimes.
Later, Diane went to question Charles about Camilla, and Charles replied, "I don't want to be the only prince Welsh without a mistress.".
07
She had no royal support or assistance
In Charles and Camilla here, Diane did not seek to solve the "three people dilemma" path, she decided to summon the courage to turn to the queen.
But to her great disappointment, the queen gave a cold shoulder to her for help. "I don't know what you should do, Charles is dead. "
"That's her help. "From then on, Diane never said anything to the queen about marriage.
In Diane's story, her father-in-law, is Prince Philip, even said to Charles on their wedding eve: "if you find this marriage doesn't work, you can be in five years, and then went to Camilla. "
In fact, Prince Philip, when he was young, had a lot of scandals, and often stayed outside the party until late at night. The queen was not without sorrow or pain. Write English drama "crown" in my previous critics (when attention "non horse" in the background, enter the keyword "crown" can be read), I also wrote this story, the queen had for her husband's frequent night and their quarrel. However, two people have now been married for 70 years.
In the history of England, many kings and nobles have mistresses, and they have always been a tacit open secret. But this is unacceptable in Diane. So, she has been strongly dissatisfied with this.
Here, particularly worth mentioning is that Diane married into the royal family, never received any "training", no one told her, as a princess, how she should behave, what duties should be fulfilled?. She was at a loss what to do.
In her interview with BBC on television, she said that the social work she did later was a work she created for herself.
She tried to do something for herself, hoping for value.
In this video of the exposure, Settelen spoke to her simulation reporter: "Why are you so attached to philanthropy?" Why is it so important to you? After hearing the question, she laughed and answered, "because there's nothing else to do.".
It's a joke, but it's part of the truth. Just like the boy who said the emperor did not dress, Diane was bold, sharp and straightforward.
08
She turned away from the wedding to seek comfort
Around 1985, the marriage crisis between Charles and Diane is no longer a secret, and the media has begun to talk about it.
Diane was under great pressure, but nowhere to turn to. Even her stepmother, instead of feeling comforted, humiliated her: "you are jealous of me and your father's happy marriage because of the unhappy marriage with Charles.".
"I feel pushed out, isolated, and none of me can yell at Ta, and no one can listen to me, even if it's about my pain. "Then she got into a passion for her close bodyguard, Barry Mannakee, whom she calls" the deepest love. ".
Diane and Barry Mannakee (Barry, Mannakee)
"I always look like a kid in front of him. I always want to see him. I'm so happy to see him.". "Diane describes himself at the time: Desperate, for, praise., eager to praise. Barry, can you give her these?.
At that time, Barry married, 30 years old, became Diane's best friend". "In the video," Diane said, "she even had the idea to live with him," and he always said it was a good idea. "
Soon, their non common friendships were discovered and Barry was ordered to leave. Soon, Barry was killed in an unexpected traffic accident. Charles told me the news in a very casual tone. "Just as they were in Cannes, they were about to face thousands of scenes. Diane was shocked at the timing of Charles's decision to disclose the news and was shocked by the casual nature of his voice. That day, Diane was physically and mentally badly wounded, but had to smile to the camera and the public.
In the video, Diane suspected that Barry was murdered in his speech. But in the NBC documentary, evidence from the police showed that it was indeed a traffic accident and that the perpetrator was a novice who had just passed the exam.
With Charles during the marriage, but Diane publicly acknowledged Barry and the aforementioned equestrian coach, the media exposure of the Diana extramarital affairs, there are three other people.
09
Her journey was early remodeling ending
After Diane appeared, the British royal family's halo, the topic, was almost monopolized by her. This in itself has left her in an awkward position in the Royal family.
She has been living a double life, and has never really had the opportunity to confront herself and herself. She wants to improve more than just her speaking skills. She wants to reinvent herself and be a truly independent, powerful new woman. And not just before the public. That should be the root cause of her video request.
Settelen's speech training lasted from 1992 September to the end of 1993. In 1992 November, Charles proposed a formal separation to her.
The separation was not what Diane had expected, which made her life completely out of order. "Overnight, a lot has changed."". But at this point, Diane was more independent and more stable, although the news of "separation" put her under more pressure.
She claims to have been a great headache to the Royal family. But she did not delay her charity and social work. After she separated, she took part in a lot of charity activities, and took William and Prince Harry to visit various charities and met people in need.
We can see that her public speeches since then have been more clear and forceful; they have been more sedate than words and manners.
At the same time, she became more and more afraid of openly making war with Charles and even the whole Royal family. In 1995, she decided to take the interview with BBC. "The marriage of three people is too crowded," she said in a famous interview. Because in this interview that many considered "the words", after two months to put the queen, they divorced.
But, interestingly, Diane also said in an interview with BBC, she does not want to divorce, she accepted the interview is to tell the truth, to reverse some misunderstanding of the public, and give yourself a royal family and the nation's hope.
Diane's "Declaration of war" behavior, on the one hand, shows courage; after all, not everyone dares to challenge the royal power in such a flagrant way; moreover, she has been oppressed for so long; on the other hand, whether the act is wise or not, it should be evaluated.
Another questionable point is, since Diane is determined to do an independent new woman, committed to charity, why not simply a step forward, leaving the already active rot like rottenness of marriage? The title of the princess is not a prerequisite for her philanthropy. In the end, she was "divorced".
Of course, it's always easy for an outsider to stay in the middle of an informal review. He's not in that situation, and he won't even know what he's going to do if he changes himself.
Overall, in the short life of Princess Diana in 36 years, we saw her character flaws, marriage and family in response to the crisis, is not entirely without her, but she has not been a variety of combat and negative forces destroyed in her body, always has a very strong vitality to salvage the "drowning", she struggled to become better yourself.
Ten
People's Princess
"The biggest problem in the world is that people don't feel loved anymore," Diane told BBC. And she, perhaps because of empathy, has been trying to be the one who brings love and hope to the helpless, even if it's only half an hour or even a few minutes. "And this has brought her great value and pleasure, and she has been loved by the British people and has been called the" people's Princess "".
She herself said that the people's support and affection for her was one of the most important support for her through difficult times.
"It is my greatest happiness to help the most helpless people in this society. It is the content of my life and the arrangement of my fate.". Any difficulty, as long as you shout to me, no matter where I am, will run to you. "
The passage is now carved on a memorial to Diane.
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